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> Yeah I write too
Dawn
post Jul 1 2007, 09:01 PM
Post #1



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Well, here is a compilation of poems I've written. Some of them are old and others I wrote them recently. I'm not a very proficient poet but still let me know what you think


Dreams on this day

The flames of the inner revolution
Led me to realize
That Iím not meant to know you now
Maybe not today
Maybe not tomorrow
But the action should implement
My dreams on this day

All of those days I felt down
All of those nights tears drop down
Diamonds of my future success
Medallions of my future joy
Maybe they should at the least become

So letís get on a wild ride
Letís party until dawn
The tears of sorrow should become
The tears of joy I overcome

My vessel would led me to the unknown
Are you hidden there?
Or shall the path of sand show your curls
Or shall the green mountains show your eyes
Or shall the river sound show your voice

I donít know those precious answers
But I will tell my children that my hope for knowing them
Was the pulse of the words that flow towards them
And the final chapter of this book of madness




It is just....

No, itís just not another butterfly
Which doesnít know where to die
Itís just an old nation leader
Suspended in his old glory hungover

Beyond a lost boyís dreams
Suspended in a painful desire for lust
Donít blame us for our actions
It is just our prerrogative
It is just our nature

The contradiction of her actions
The maze of her words
Probably it is just another trap
Another cul-de-sac

We will just follow the pulse
Weíll pray to optimism
And do they now weíll succeed
Thatís all we need




Musical interferences

I painted the wall with musical interferences
I cried and shouted to try to break the fences
But who will tell me how break your defenses
My sword is broken because of my blindness

The revolution me and friends supported
I trust them although I havenít seen their faces
Your face is now my main night nemesis
But Iím not sure if I can allow let that flow

The anger of my personal and useless failures
My pride and my demons seems not to understand
That their battle hurts the battleground
The old and the young sorrowful who stands

Maybe the revolutionary girl
Who abandoned the land of poseurs
Could listen beneath the twilight
The words of the dark king

Maybe the priest of the distorted band
Could bring me some advices
To mend these not material devices
And stop the clock of my disaster

A mixed and confused piece of letter lights
Could the imps laugh and humiliate
But the disturbing habbit of hesitate
Was the start of the knightís and the kingís fights.





Path of the Comet

Following the steps of a lost peasant
Ordering the thoughts that are gone with the breeze
Wondering what makes the heat so umpleasant

Like a lost comet in a forgotten galaxy
A grey life must not be lead
A path show within our fantasy
No more tears must be shed

The power we have been given
Unusual beings make us
Forgetting that could lead us unforgiven

Sorrow is a confortable station for my steps
But the path is tough an exhausting
Even though it could be everlasting
My pride could bring me new leaps

I donít want to end the story alone
Cause I have a lot to say to you
So if you wish to listen a tale
For me wonít do big deal.





Swords and roses

Crashing thoughts of fire
Make an uneasy atmosphere
The faithless repentant traveller
Bows in presence of the Godess altar

A complete experience this dream seems
But there are two souls who smile at the sun
A new perspective arises in the evening
One should not overcome the other

It is always easier to use a sword instead of a rose
But to a rose you should give what it likes
Without a lose of indentity nor strength

And then the traveler could stand up
And smile to the altar with no remorse
And realize that his lost faith
Could find shelter in thar Godessí arms
Both surrounded by a wall of roses.




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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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NervPoison
post Jul 1 2007, 09:26 PM
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They all show great potential and the writer's skill of rhetoric. But I especially liked the first two. smile.gif
You are going to keep writing these, aren't you? unsure.gif


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Dawn
post Jul 1 2007, 09:32 PM
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Yeah, that's the intention. I'm in a creative mood now so I'll post more. Thanks for the comment


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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Zwill
post Jul 1 2007, 10:57 PM
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I like the third one. You should write more! Im sure other people will recognize your gift.


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girlsrgamers2
post Jul 2 2007, 07:35 AM
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Those are great poems, shyman! smile.gif My favorite is "Musical Interferences". Keep posting.


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Dark Yuna
post Jul 2 2007, 05:53 PM
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Wow, shyman! They were great! I really liked Path of the Comet (nice title, too). You seriously should post more, you know. You're good at this biggrin.gif


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Dawn
post Jul 3 2007, 10:53 AM
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Wow, I'm amazed for the support. Thank guys. This really motivates me

Here are two I just wrote

Shore Observer

My feet get hot on the sand
And my thoughts are mixed
With those coming from the sea
Salt and water is all I need
To find happiness beneath this season

Islands and boats flow through the landscape
And surfers live their adventure
The Sun is the king of this realm
Girls come here for him to be worshipped
No wonder why man loves this time

Nights came down with charm and music
The Moon gives out her pale smile
To those who laugh and drink with the sand
Nostalgia and freedom become one
For the lonely observers who come and go

But there is no need to for them be sad
Snow and wind graciously give their time
To the Sun and the pleasure
Which the observer longs for in this shore


Wooden Heart

She has the chords of wisdom
Hidden in her wooden heart
Lots of masters of her doctrine
Fill my dreams of musical desire

She has cryptic smile drawn on her face
Inviting the pupil of dreams to discover
The infinite collection of mysteries
Six Strings are capable of hiding

Many orange and hot Andalousian evenings
Many of her kind have lived with passion
Ballads of soulful verve they have sung
With or without voice
With or withour claps

May her stand in her glory alone
Or may drums give her
A rhytmic comfort
Or may bass sing with her
an intimate and personal duo
Or may an elegant piano
Confront her with passion and strength





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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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girlsrgamers2
post Jul 3 2007, 03:55 PM
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More great poems, shyman! smile.gif My fave of those 2 is "Shore Observer". Also, I love the titles you give your poems, they are as unique as the poesm themselves.


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CREA
post Jul 3 2007, 08:53 PM
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time moves backwards into a cliff
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Path of Comet x swords and roses = pretty good poems.

You're pretty good, you know. Keep it up ( i defenetly like what I'm reading).
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Zwill
post Jul 4 2007, 01:09 AM
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You just keep getting better and better! Keep up the good work you rock.


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scratchnloved
post Jul 4 2007, 02:51 AM
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looks similar to the stuff i used to write O_0
awesome, keep it up man ^^


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Dawn
post Jul 6 2007, 05:01 PM
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Intense Pearl

Don't shout at the mountains
The fears to which you succumbed
Because the storm will fade away
After the rain of your teardrops
Give beauty to our fields

How intense can be this pearl
Showing us her her charming glow
Yet charming yet abstract, yet untouchable
The road of flawless mystery
A lonely traveler dared to follow

Some might said hope is a hollow end
Dreams beyond obscurity
Which escape from reality
But this this other light pearl
Has always given splendor to humans


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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Zwill
post Jul 6 2007, 06:28 PM
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Is that one like an ode? Or is it just a freestyle. Nice use of figurative langauge.


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Dawn
post Jul 6 2007, 06:38 PM
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I don't know why, but I tend to give some odesque feeling to the endings of some of my compositions (take Path of The Comet or Dreams on this day for example) unknw.gif

Thanks for the input. More to come soon


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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NervPoison
post Jul 6 2007, 06:53 PM
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New favourite! smile.gif
Brilliant use of images, man.
Did have some typos, but I don't mind them at all. biggrin.gif


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Lady Sora
post Jul 10 2007, 11:01 PM
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Wow, you write really good Shyman. I'm very proud of you & I like your poerty. =)


It'd be cool if you join me and the others in our... I believe 'poetry contest'?? xD nice work. Good to see more poets here.


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Dawn
post Jul 13 2007, 10:11 AM
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Here goes a quite alegoric one. Tell me what you think

Forbidden Realm

He led nations and realms
Beyond the bounds of glory
Many tales jesters have sung
Across the echo of ages

But all but one of the battles
He ever dared to face
He won with strength and ease
With pride and fierce wrath

Just one realm his entrance was forbidden
The realm two green pearls watched out
And a soft maze of dark and straight mist
Pale walls with flickering spots
Confused the Warrior of Delusion

Nor pride, strength or wrath
Could ever been power enough
To unveil perfumed mysteries
Only their realms are able to provide




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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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Lonedove
post Jul 13 2007, 05:58 PM
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agh. I am so blind. Totally didn't see this till now. Why didn't you tell me you were so talented?! They were all good. Wooden heart strikes me as my favorite so far, I hope you write more. :3 I love how you use a lot of imagery to paint a story. It's almost like you could assign a color to each poem they are so vivid.


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Dawn
post Jul 14 2007, 06:20 PM
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Thanks for the comments everyone. You inspire me to write more and more smile.gif


Dawn melody

Dreams, hopes and desires
are always sitting at the same table
They don't share the same nature
But they write the same fable

To all the partners who have ever shared
Nights of laughter and music
Concepts and words, jokes and arguments
Frames of a dreamy portrait
Notes of a dawn melody

Telling that I'm grateful is a sad leaf
Saying that I'm blissful is healthy tree
Like a child running on the grass
Filling our dreams with smiles

Solemn moments surrounded by meditation
Are a flawless shelter for the pure lady
Deep odes of bravery and honor
Feed the heart of a forgotten soldier
Taking back the smile he once lived with


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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*Garland*
post Jul 14 2007, 11:02 PM
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Nice collection of writing man. I especially liked Path of the Comet. You have some good talent smile.gif


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