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> RBs' writings, dark, light, and more
rainbowbrat
post Dec 7 2007, 07:52 PM
Post #21



I dunno what I just saw.........
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Here's one I wrote for my pet forum I am on...I know no one here shares
my love of pet rats, but thought I would share anyway xD

Rats

Misunderstood and unloved
Those pesky pests
How could they be loved by anyone
This is what they say

Do you take the time?
Do you even understand?
They are more than pests
They are beloved pets

More loveable than a cat
More obidient than a dog
The cleanest of beasts
And the most loveable of all

If you have never been owned by one
You should give them a chance
They give the fuzziest kind of love
Ratty Love


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JudasOne
post Dec 7 2007, 07:56 PM
Post #22



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well I'll tell you again and again that you have a gift smile.gif

keep writing RB anything at all!
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Dawn
post Dec 7 2007, 08:25 PM
Post #23



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and you said your writing was rusty. Meh, you are clearly wrong

I also think you should keep on writing. You're good smile.gif


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 7 2007, 08:35 PM
Post #24



I dunno what I just saw.........
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ty hunny xD and Judas!

the one before the rat poem was rearranged about 4 times xD laugh.gif

The rat poem was for a contest...but it was suppose to have christmas in it...I didn't catch that part, so I said screw it and withdrew it. sad.gif


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 14 2007, 02:30 PM
Post #25



I dunno what I just saw.........
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Cruisin

Travel the town
With the top down
Hoodies over our heads
The system shaking them from their beds

We go along chillin
just bein us
Laughing at everything
Caring about nothing

So good to be free
Everyone can see
Nothing can hold us back
Not even the chains that bind us

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\

Does it seem like it's missing something to anyone else?


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NervPoison
post Dec 14 2007, 02:58 PM
Post #26



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Nice poem, RB!
I don't think anything's missing. Maybe you're just not used to writing poems this short. tongue.gif


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 14 2007, 03:08 PM
Post #27



I dunno what I just saw.........
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I am thinking that may be it...LOL

Cause it looks to me like it just....ends...

fells kinda.....short xD

and thanks!


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Dawn
post Dec 14 2007, 04:28 PM
Post #28



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Nobody said good poems couldn't be short. And this is an example


--------------------
Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 14 2007, 04:38 PM
Post #29



I dunno what I just saw.........
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ty hunny happy.gif

It was a random thought of when I was cruisin DT with my friend xD


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Kira Lee
post Dec 15 2007, 05:36 AM
Post #30



pokemon rocks yo' mom.
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You are talented rb!

Write more, I love your works. smile.gif


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 17 2007, 03:29 PM
Post #31



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ty KL!

K, here's one I thought of over the weekend xD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a childs eyes.

Flowers and rainbows
Spring from her head
She knows no misery
Only her own sadness

She knows it will pass
She loves to pretend
When she sits in the box
She says she will fly

I ask where to
She says
Anywhere I want
and you are coming too

She loves me now
Hope she will love me then
Her innocence and happiness
Will surely fade

I only hope that when she grows
She will still love me
Come to me and talk with me
Let me be the mom I never had


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NervPoison
post Dec 17 2007, 04:17 PM
Post #32



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Wow, that was a gorgeous choice of words. Sweet imagery too!
This is my favourite so far, great job RB! smile.gif


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 17 2007, 05:08 PM
Post #33



I dunno what I just saw.........
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TY NP...

Like i said in KL's thread...I should really do a rough draft, edit, then post...I don't do that...I just spew it out...LOL


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Dawn
post Dec 19 2007, 08:27 AM
Post #34



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That was a delicious and touching one, specially considering who I guess it is referring to. Like NP said, your best one so far


--------------------
Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 19 2007, 04:30 PM
Post #35



I dunno what I just saw.........
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ty hunny xD

OK, time for one more un edited un fixed, just spewed out poem!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can

Dreaming while I am awake
Sleeping while I walk
Talking with pins through my lips
Watching with my eyes sewn shut

The wind blowing through my hair
The chills sent through my body
The cold ground under my feet
The rain falling on my face

I can hear you breathing
I can hear you laughing
I can hear my heart breaking
I can hear my soul fly away


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NervPoison
post Dec 19 2007, 06:41 PM
Post #36



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Wow, quite good! Especially since you just "spewed it out"! biggrin.gif
Really cool!
Too bad you don't give them titles.


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 19 2007, 06:44 PM
Post #37



I dunno what I just saw.........
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ok, I will go back and title them....LOL

I dunno what to title that one ^



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NervPoison
post Dec 19 2007, 06:47 PM
Post #38



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QUOTE
I dunno what to title that one ^

"I can hear you" would be a logical choice. Or you could just give them random titles that pop up into your head. It's what I do. wink.gif


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rainbowbrat
post Dec 19 2007, 06:51 PM
Post #39



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LOL, done editing all....I named it "I can" tongue.gif


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Dawn
post Dec 19 2007, 10:36 PM
Post #40



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Sweet

smile.gif

Keep on writing, plz


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Once known as shyman

QUOTE(Steve Kilbey)
Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


QUOTE(rainbowbrat)
I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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