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> Self-Confidence, How to raise?
Judge Gabranth
post Jun 3 2008, 04:27 AM
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How would one go about raising anothers self confidence? How do you help people with self confidence issues? Any help would be much appreciated... I've tried things and I have some ideas-but others thoughts are wanted. Thank you.


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BohemianAndy
post Jun 3 2008, 05:39 AM
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- Constantly persevere in areas that you consider needing improvement in (sports etc)

- Like yourself for who you are

- Never put yourself down

- Learn from your mistakes in a contructive way

- Be positive about your life

- Express yourself! Lots of introverted people lack self-confidence and as a result are quite shy in social situations. If you at least express what you think about things, at least you can share your opinions with others and you can learn a whole lot more rather than sitting back (with no feedback on what you have to say).

That's all I can think of for now. Erm... brb later maybe? tongue.gif


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Dawn
post Jun 3 2008, 07:03 AM
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BA said many things but avoiding negative thinking is a basis strictly neccesary to achieve this. At least for me


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joesmith123
post Jun 3 2008, 10:59 AM
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You guys are misreading his post. He wants help with raising another person's confidence, not his own.

I'd say just give them compliments when appropriate and make them sincere. A good compliement will always brighten someone's day.


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Dawn
post Jun 3 2008, 11:02 AM
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Well, then I expressed myself incorrectly. What I meant is to try to remove any kind of negative behavioural thinking from that person. Which is the hell of a difficult task, by the way


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Something must be wrong when weapons are legal and pot is banned


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I am a carnivore, though, I eat all kinds of meat :p


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BohemianAndy
post Jun 3 2008, 11:04 AM
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^ The only issue there is that once a person develops into an adult, their thinking style sort of "crystallizes" and it can take a while to change.

Anyway, from my sugguestions Judge Gabranth, just think of ways to encourage the person to become more like that.


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Burrgle
post Jun 3 2008, 07:44 PM
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It helps if you have someone who is an example of self confiedence. If you are self confident around who lacks it. I should rub off on them a lot. I gained a lot of self confidence just from hanging around and looking up to people that had it. And it is also a matter of getting involved and being sucesful at what you are doing. And if the person its not sucessful. Give constructive critisism. Always be constructive.

Tell them that you just need to have a good sense of self. Its kind of hard to explain what I mean by that....because I dont think I phrased it right. Well...let me give you a personal example.

I remember I was thinking about hanging out with this guy, perspective boyfriend. And the longer I talked to him the more I thought he was pretty perverted and a little screwed up. (He kept on talking about his penis and I just didnt care so I told him off for being so persistant). Then he started going off on a rant about me, how I am bipolor (which I am not), a social retard (which I am not), amongst other terrible things he accused me of doing without really knowing me well at all. He backed it up with the fact that he had a degree in pyschology (if its a fact or not..I am not sure). Anyway...what he said really got to me and it hurt me a bit. And I blocked him for a decent time...I went through my block list....and I unblocked everyone that I had blocked before thinking he had forgotten and moved on with his life. Well...the next day he IMs me. Starts goin off on the same thing. It got to be a little at first. But then I simply realized. All of the things he is saying were not true. I am not a stupid person. I am not bipolor. And I most certainly did not sleep with my dad (yes....this discusting acusation was made in a serious way). So I just started to laugh at myself at how stupid he was. And I kinda mocked him in a way, I just started agree with everything he said. And then he eventually started to ignore me because he didnt have any fuel to his fire.

The point is....don't let someone hurt you based on things that you know are not true. You have to know yourself very well and be accepting of who you are right now. Sure you can look up to somebody for inspiration of who you may want to eventaully emulate. But realize that right now, you are not that person...and you should be happy with who you are.

I hope this helps.


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Stealth
post Jun 4 2008, 11:36 PM
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Want an easy answer?

Hit the gym. Go work out with him/her 4-5 times a week. Within a month you'll be in better shape and be a lot stronger. Self-confidence sky rockets.

I mean, unless you're seriously underweight as it is, then just disregard it.


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Burrgle
post Jun 4 2008, 11:39 PM
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Good advice Stealth. Even if you are underweight...you should hit the gym here and there. Dont over do it though...just start eating well and lift a few light weights.


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BohemianAndy
post Jun 5 2008, 01:28 AM
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The gym suggestion is very good. I remember a friend from high school who was mordbidly overweight (ohmy.gif) and he was very self-conscious about it and lacked confidence. For over a year after high school, I didn't see him. Then, one day, I saw someone who looked familiar...it was him, and he now looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 70s/80s ohmy.gif I was shocked at his transformation. He must have lost over 70 kilograms within a year. Not only was he very fit now with big muscles, but he was smiling alot and very confident in how he presents himself.


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